Lunenburg United Methodist Charge

 

Antioch UMC                                                           Williams UMC

 

On our walk. . . . .                 

March 12, 2009

 

I recently received this notice and was asked to forward it to all. Please be aware of it.

 

RECALL NOTICE:


The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.


This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been
technically termed "Sub-sequential Internal Non-Morality," or more commonly known as
S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.


Some of the symptoms include:


                           1. Loss of direction

                           2. Foul vocal emissions

                           3. Amnesia of origin

                           4. Lack of peace and joy

                           5. Selfish or violent behavior

                           6. Depression or confusion in the mental component

                           7. Fearfulness

                           8. Idolatry

                           9. Rebellion


The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect.


The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs.  There is no additional fee required.


The number to call for repair in all areas is:  P-R-A-Y-E-R.


 Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure.


 Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.


 No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:

                         1. Love

                         2. Joy

                         3. Peace

                         4. Patience

                         5. Kindness

                         6. Goodness

                         7. Faithfulness

                         8. Gentleness

                         9. Self control


Please refer to the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E.  (Believers' Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.


WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human  unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus.



DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that  facility. Thank you for your attention!


 Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may

 contact the Father any time by 'Knee mail'.


                         - GOD

HAVE A BLESSED WEEK!

 

Opportunities for Ministry and Service

Monday, March 16

   Bible Study @ Antioch @ 7:00 PM

Tuesday, March 17

   Bible Study @ Audrey Smith’s @ 10:00 AM

Wednesday, March 18

   Prayer Meeting @ Williams @ 5:45 PM

    Choir Practice @ Williams @ 6:30 PM

   

Worship Events –March 15 - The Third Sunday of Lent

This week’s Sermon text : John 2:13-22

                    Hebrew text :  Exodus20:1-17                         

                              Communion will be offered

 

Who Is Frank?   This week A is an Acquaintance

Recently you have seen the word “FRANK” showing upon our roadside sign as well as in our bulletins. What is, or who is “FRANK”? Well, frank is a special worship service that will take place on March 29th at Antioch. Each letter of the word has a meaning. For “F” it meant friend and for “R” it means relative. This week “A” is for acquaintance.  Each letter is a guide to invite someone to join us at worship on March 29. Plans are to have a special group from Tarboro, NC, Curtis Hyler & Jubilation, bring services to all that day.  This group has been singing together for many years and they are well known in North Carolina and Virginia.  You can check out their web page at www.curtishyler.com.  Immediately after services there will be a luncheon. If you would like to help the Outreach Committees in their planning for this special day please contact Brenda Barnes, Betsey Hendricks, or Diane Overby. Sign up sheets will be available on Sunday if you would like to help with this special event.

 

 

Sunday School is available each Sunday morning.  The importance of Sunday School is that, though you may think hearing the word will suffice for you, you really need to be in attendance at Sunday School to gather all the information that you can in an open discussion classroom.  Jesus’ word cannot be totally understood just by listening to a sermon.  You have to interact with it and with other Christians to learn what He was saying to us.  This is a life long study and you should take part.  There is a class for every age so please plan on joining us to learn more about our Lord, Jesus Christ.   Sunday School at Williams begins at 10:45 AM and at Antioch at 10:00 AM.

 

Evening Bible Study   Evening Bible study will continue on Mar.16 at 7:00PM at Antioch.  We will be reviewing chapters 11-20 of Isaiah. We will discuss the events depicted in the book.  If you are looking for a study of God’s word join us not only for the study, but good fellowship.

 

Morning Bible Study. Morning Bible study will meet this Tuesday Mar 17 @ 10:00 AM at Audrey Smith’s house when we will discuss the Book of Ecclesiastes. If you are looking for a study of God’s word join us not only for the study, but good fellowship.

 

$.02 a Meal – Lunenburg Ministries

The Mission committee is asking all who would like to help the least of us during this Lenten/ Easter season to take part in the 2 cents per meal program. All you have to do is put any amount of change into a Zip Lock bag or a container at each meal. On Palm Sunday we will take it up at our Palm Sunday service and take it to the Palm Sunday Evening services and along with the other churches in our county we will make a community offering to the Lunenburg Ministries for their use to help the least of us in our community. If you don’t have a bag or a container and would like to take part please see Brenda Barnes or Robyn Fowler.

 

Picture of Events.

If you would like to see pictures of recent events at Antioch please go to antiochmethodistchurch.org. This is the address for our webpage and it is updated as information becomes available.

 

Pastor Ed to Preach.

On Wednesday, March 18 at 12:00PM at the Presbyterian Church directly behind Kenbridge UMC our pastor will bring a Lenten message. It is a brown bag luncheon (bring your own) with a service on the last seven Words of Jesus. Please join us for a time of fellowship with the churches in our community and a time to reflect on the Word of our Lord.

 

Contact Pastor Ed

If you cannot reach Rev. Ed at the parsonage, you may call him on his cell phone:  252-532-0952, parsonage phone: 434-676-2314 or 252-537-5705.  He can also be reached via e-mail at revedumc@yahoo.com .

 

 

Ladies Tea

Williams Ladies Tea will take place on the 21st of March at 3:00PM.  If you enjoy a good cup of tea and food to go along with it please join the ladies of Williams in great fellowship and a program of the Word of God.  Jane DiStefano will bring the message this month.  She is better than the other DiStefano!  All are invited to this time of being together for Christ.

 

UMW to Meet

The United Methodist Women will meet on the 17th @ the parsonage at 8:00 PM.  Join the ladies as they work for the Lord in reaching out to our community.  There will be a program as well as refreshments following the meeting.  Please join us for this wonderful time of the Word and mission.

 

 

Happy Birthday!

Happy birthday to this week:

 

Audrey Smith

Betty Yerby

 

Prayer List

Please keep the following families in your prayers:

Becky Eades & boys

Edna A. Bagley

Dee Welch

Harry & Margaret Smith

Edith Parham

Bernard Bottoms

Walter B. & Carolyn Moseley

Tommy Cage

Bertha Bottoms

Fred & Denise Harper

Grace DiStefano

Betty Reese

CV & Agnes Thompson

Gertrude Hite

Grace Marshall

Nathan Hendricks

Donna Reese

Bertha Arthur

Margaret J. Conner

Catherine White

Allen Alcock

Sgt Christopher Thompson

Ann Faison

Douglas Stewart

Martha G. White

Jane Clarke

Layton Powell

Miranda Eley

Justin McDaniel

Alicia Clary

Ronnie Liestra

Vivian Rackley

Tony Chumney

Elizabeth Biggerstaff 

Kay Thompson

Laura Dutzman

The family of Mary Ellen Day

Terrisa Thompson

Tom Fowler

Frances Hawthorne

Dorothy Ann Irby

Jeff Hendricks

Cameron Fowler

Brock Liles

Maria Kay

Kathy McReynolds

Sheila Cage

Red Tanner

Earl "Chucky” Barnes

David Jones

Edward Garner

Dee Walker

Linda Dunlow

Tommy Ray Gee

Anne Ilacqua

Brenda Epley

Kim Mc Henry

Sara Zeleski

Justine Mc Henry

Rev Al Green

 
 
Prayer Gram.
 
Please, when putting somebody’s name on our prayer list, PRINT their names and addresses if you have them.  This will help us get the prayer grams out sooner and it will also make it easier to read during services.

A Final Word:

 A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they
were on the way to church service,
'And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?'
One bright little girl replied,
'Because people are sleeping.'

 Have a blessed week